Across the Multiverse

Halcyon Days, indeed...

2009-11-29T16:15:16Z

Right now, nothing sums up my life better than this throw-away line from a Bruce Hornsby song.

Maybe you'll get you wishes in dreams this night,
Because I can't seem to help you here in real life.

Fic: JLAOL.

2009-09-30T16:30:05Z

Title: JLAOL
Author: mirage_delgado.
Fandom: DC Universe.
Characters: Donna Troy, Eddie Bloomberg, Tim Drake, Virgil Hawkins, Cissie King-Jones, Kyle Rayner, Jamie Reyes and Cassie Sandsmark.
Word Count: 4,008
Prompt: 46, JLA Watchtower.
Rating: PG-13.
Disclaimer: Not mine. DC Comics owns all. (Except for Superboy. Maybe.)
Summary: I’m not even going to try. :)
Author’s Notes: 1) AU fic for a series of prompts that I have totally abandoned (officially.) Go figure. 2) Tim & Cissie’s net nicks are borrowed from part one of 12 Years of Christmas by lady_sarai and zoe_chan. 3) I apologize in advance for the cracktasticness.

[Day 8,889.] (Age 24 years, 120 days.)

Welcome to JLANet Chat, your site for the hottest hero news, interviews and gossip!
Sign in? [Y.]

JLANet ID: willow_1984.
Password: ******

Welcome, Donna Evans! [Logged in 08/24/08 at 21:47 P.M.]

Now entering Chat Room/Watchtower.

7 Friends Online:
AzureAvenger
BowNQuiverGal
gatewaygirl
Ima_Artiste (mod)
L.A._Devil
Mr Sarcastic003
shockolate

L.A._Devil: And he’s all "it’s not like I’m Superman, y’know?"
Mr Sarcastic003: He really said that?
L.A._Devil: Uh huh!
BowNQuiverGal: Suuuure he did.
shockolate: brb
gatewaygirl: hb shocker
L.A._Devil: You calling me a liar, King?
BowNQuiverGal: Not at all. Let’s just say I’m agreeing with you in a totally unusual way. :P
L.A._Devil: *mumbles something about a weakness for smart-ass hot blondes*
BowNQuiverGal: You know it, babe! ;-)
willow_1984: Hi everyone.
AzureAvenger: Hey, look who’s here!
gatewaygirl: Donna! HUGS!
Ima_Artiste: Hey there, Willowgirl.
willow_1984: Little sister!
willow_1984: *hugs Cassie and swats Kyle*
Ima_Artiste: Ow! What was that for?
willow_1984: Just keeping you on your toes, sweetie. :-)
gatewaygirl: Hehehe!
BowNQuiverGal: Smack him again! ;-)
Ima_Artiste: Next one of you lays a finger on me gets a lifetime ban, see?
L.A._Devil: *does his best Edward G. Robinson impression* Nyah, see! Nyah!
AzureAvenger: Blah! Blah!
L.A._Devil: Blah?
AzureAvenger: Um, that’s my Dracula.
Mr Sarcastic003: Everybody shush!
Mr Sarcastic003: *strains to hear* Jamie, do you hear anything?
AzureAvenger: Uh, no...
Mr Sarcastic003: Of course not. That overwhelming absence of noise is the sound of crickets chirping after your lame attempt at humor.
AzureAvenger: Hey! Why you...I outta, uh...
AzureAvenger: somebody help me with a comeback, alright?
Mr Sarcastic003: And everyone says I’m a geek. *rolls eyes*
gatewaygirl: *giggles hysterically*
Ima_Artiste: ROFL
willow_1984: LOL
L.A._Devil: Chirp, chirp
AzureAvenger: Shut up! Everybody shut up!
BowNQuiverGal: ok, batboy.
AzureAvenger: You shut up, too! *sulks*
willow_1984: We kid because we love
AzureAvenger: Nobody loves me...*sniff*
willow_1984: Awwww! Poor boy...
willow_1984: *hugs Jamie*
AzureAvenger: Yeah, college chicks dig me!
willow_1984: It’s your raw animal magnetism, AA. ;-)
AzureAvenger: *beams*
L.A._Devil: Total sympathy hug, dude.
AzureAvenger: So? I got some and you didn’t! Nyah, see?
L.A._Devil: Whatever, Vlad.
BowNQuiverGal: Houston, the ego has landed!
Ima_Artiste: So how was the field trip, D?
gatewaygirl: Yeah, spill!
willow_1984: My God, Themyscria was incredible!
willow_1984: The people, the architecture, their sense of history, it was all just amazing!
willow_1984: I am so grateful I got to go.
willow_1984: I never thought I would ever have a chance to travel abroad, let alone visit Paradise.
willow_1984: And I met Queen Diana herself!
gatewaygirl: No!
willow_1984: YES!
gatewaygirl: I am sooooo freaking jealous! I wish I were you right now. :-)
willow_1984: I know! :-D
gatewaygirl: What was she like?
willow_1984: She was so gracious to our group, just blessedly polite and kind and so...Squeeeeeee!!!! :-)
willow_1984: A week later and I’m still giddy.
willow_1984: I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to sit down long enough to put my thoughts into a proper term paper.
Ima_Artiste: Heh. Better try if you want to graduate.
willow_1984: Smart-ass. ;-) Besides, maybe I want to go through my Modern Themyscria/American Relations course all over again.
Ima_Artiste: Um, why?
willow_1984: I have a weakness for redheads. And Professor Long is very, very sexy. :-)
gatewaygirl: You’re hot for one of your teachers?
gatewaygirl: That’s just....
gatewaygirl: Eeeeeeew!
Mr Sarcastic003: And probably illegal.
L.A._Devil: Professor Long?
L.A._Devil: Not a porn-star name at all!
L.A._Devil: Bow-chicka-bow-bow!
willow_1984: For your information, children, I haven’t slept with any of my professors.
willow_1984: Yet. ;-)
BowNQuiverGal: I’m with g-girl on this one. So gross!
willow_1984: It’s a different world for us post-grads, kids. :-)
AzureAvenger: No, I totally understand!
AzureAvenger: Like, my phy-ed teacher, Ms. Lopez? She’s smoking hot!
AzureAvenger: Doesn’t pay us boys much mind, though. Spends most of her time with the cheerleaders...
Ima_Artiste: Ah, I was the same way as a young lad. ;-)
L.A._Devil: You were a closet case?
willow_1984: LMAO
BowNQuiverGal: Someone call the game warden! I think Rayner just got tagged!
AzureAvenger: *hi-fives Devil and QuiverGal*
Ima_Artiste: Hi-larious!
Ima_Artiste: Y’all are lucky I’m a good humored individual. Otherwise I’d be using my Godly mod powers to lifetime ban all of yer asses.
willow_1984: Oh man up, hon! You walked right into that one. :-)
Ima_Artiste: *would show Donna an obscene hand gesture if he wasn’t the mod*
willow_1984: Anyhow, I won’t be online long. The last two weeks were awesome, but the flight back home was loooooooooong.
willow_1984: I just wanted to say ‘hi’ to my fellow geeks before I crash for weekend.
gatewaygirl: Wait! Don’t leave yet!
gatewaygirl: Donna, Tim and me have to tell you something.
Mr Sarcastic003: "Tim and me?" What’s this "we" stuff?
willow_1984: Please tell me you’re not engaged.
Mr Sarcastic003: Wha...?
gatewaygirl: No! :P
BowNQuiverGal: Back off, chica! Timmy’s mine!
L.A._Devil: Take my Tim, please. (Ba-da-dum!)
Mr Sarcastic003: He’ll be here all night. Try the veal.
shockolate: back, yo
willow_1984: hello and wb Virgil
shockolate: Evans, here? In the flesh?
willow_1984: Afraid so, shocker.
willow_1984: *hugs Virgil and ruffles his always perfect hair*
willow_1984: ilHow are you?
shockolate: I’m awesome!
shockolate: When’d you get back?
willow_1984: About an hour and a half ago.
shockolate: Hey, now that willowbrook’s in the house, you know what this calls for?
gatewaygirl: I’m warning you right now, shocker...
shockolate: I gotta be me, girl!
shockolate: Timster, set me up
gatewaygirl: Don’t do it!
Mr Sarcastic003: On my mark, then.
gatewaygirl: I mean it, assbag!
Mr Sarcastic003: And...mark!
shockolate: WASSSSUP!
L.A._Devil: WASSSSSUP!
AzureAvenger: WASSSSSUPAAAAH!
BowNQuiverGal: And we’re off.
BowNQuiverGal: *sighs*
gatewaygirl: You bastards!
Mr Sarcastic003: *knows this is totally lame, but laughs anyway*
shockolate: WASSSSSSSSUPAAAAAAAAH!!!!
BowNQuiverGal: Not too 1999, at all.
AzureAvenger: WAAAAAAASSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
L.A._Devil: (deep breath) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
gatewaygirl: KNOCK IT OFF!
shockolate: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
gatewaygirl: For the love of Gawd, make it stop!
gatewaygirl: Somebody MAKE IT STOP!!!
willow_1984: Kyle sweetie, this situation seems to be getting out of hand.
willow_1984: Would you mind...?
Ima_Artiste: Certainly, my dear.
Ima_Artiste: *caresses his beautiful ban slips* Who wants a yellowcard?
AzureAvenger: No! N-no thanks. I’m good. Really...
L.A._Devil: Blame Virgil, not me!
L.A._Devil: He started it!
shockolate: Er...look over there! Killer Easter bunnies!
shockolate: *runs*
Mr Sarcastic003: Aw, the sound of crickets.
gatewaygirl: My hero!
gatewaygirl: *french kisses Kyle on the lips*
Ima_Artiste: Whoa, Cassie! You’re not eighteen yet. :-)
willow_1984: Thank you, mister moderator.
Ima_Artiste: For you, D? Anytime.
willow_1984: So, Cass, you were saying?
gatewaygirl: Donna, Tim has the most awesome story ever!
gatewaygirl: Tell her, Tim!
AzureAvenger: Story? What story?
shockolate: Word!
Ima_Artiste: Virgil and Jamie, neither of you have heard this one yet?
willow_1984: And apparently I haven’t either.
BowNQuiverGal: Timmy, is this the one about the flying nocturnal...uh thing?
BowNQuiverGal: ‘Cause if it is? Jamie, muh babe, you need to be sitting down for this. :-)
Mr Sarcastic003: *sighs* Yes. And it’s not that big of a deal...
gatewaygirl: Yes it is!
L.A._Devil: Eh, my story was better.
BowNQuiverGal: If not necessarily true. ;)-
L.A._Devil: Grrrrr!
BowNQuiverGal: *sends out sexy smart-ass blonde vibes to counter Devil’s negative juju*
L.A._Devil: Grrrr...uh....girl pretty! *drools*
Ima_Artiste: Timmy, you gonna let your woman keep flirting with him?
Mr Sarcastic003: Eh, he can have her. Serves him right. ;-)
Ima_Artiste: Hehehe
shockolate: Dying of suspense up in here.
shockolate: What.
shockolate: Story?
willow_1984: Seconded.
gatewaygirl: Start talking, Mr. Drake.
Mr Sarcastic003: I’d rather not. You tell them.
gatewaygirl: TIM!
gatewaygirl: *slugs the Sarcastic one*
Mr Sarcastic003: Ouch! *rubs shoulder*
Mr Sarcastic003: All right! But I want it noted that I do so under forced coercion.
Mr Sarcastic003: I really didn’t want to talk about it too much in a community full of metahuman-loving fanboys/girls because it’s one of those things where you guys will never believe me in a million years even if I present you with physical evidence.
Mr Sarcastic003: (I do have proof, for the record.)
Mr Sarcastic003: And even if you do come around, then you’ll be just as giddy and annoying as Cassie was when I first told her about it.
gatewaygirl: Hey!
Mr Sarcastic003: That said, here it is: I have certain knowledge of the Batman’s true identity.
Ima_Artiste: Oh Christ! Here we go again...
L.A._Devil: *headdesk*
shockolate: I have certain knowledge...THIS TIME FOR SURE!!!
BowNQuiverGal: *sticks fingers in ears to better ignore the inevitable trolling*
willow_1984: Oh, Tim. You know we love you, but...
willow_1984: (patronizingly pats Timmy’s head)
gatewaygirl: Just hear him out, guys!
shockolate: And just what is this so-called proof?
Mr Sarcastic003: The final piece of the puzzle came last week when I saw Batman and Robin take down a perp up close and in person.
shockolate: Oh, c’mon!
AzureAvenger: Batman? Did you say Batman?
AzureAvenger: Like, the dark knight?
AzureAvenger: The caped crusader?
AzureAvenger: The one and only Batman?
Mr Sarcastic003: Yes, Jamie
willow_1984: Are you serious, Tim?
AzureAvenger: And Robin the girl wonder, too?
Mr Sarcastic003: Yes and yes. :-)
AzureAvenger: You met Batman and Robin! Holy shit!
Mr Sarcastic003: I wouldn’t call it a "meeting," by any stretch...
willow_1984: When was this, Tim?
Ima_Artiste: Jamie, watch the language.
Mr Sarcastic003: Last weekend, right here in Gotham.
shockolate: Y’all aren’t falling for this, right?
shockolate: Right!?!
Ima_Artiste: I thought it was bogus too, until I saw the footage.
AzureAvenger: Footage? Footage!
AzureAvenger: You have video of Batman in action!?!
AzureAvenger: OMFG!!!!
BowNQuiverGal: Deep breaths, Jamie. Just relax, push yourself away from the monitor...
AzureAvenger: Video of Batman! BATMAN!
AzureAvenger: I need to hump something NOW!
AzureAvenger: No, I need Paco! I gotta IM Paco!
AzureAvenger: brb
L.A._Devil: He needs Paco?
L.A._Devil: Bow-chicka-bow bow!
shockolate: Aw, forget him! I still ain’t buying it.
shockolate: *eyes wearily* Let’s see this alleged tape.
Ima_Artiste: hb Hy-may
Mr Sarcastic003: Alleged? Ahahahahahahaha!
shockolate: What’s so funny?
Mr Sarcastic003: See for yourself, Virgil.
Mr Sarcastic003: I just downloaded it to YouTube this evening
gatewaygirl: You did!?!
gatewaygirl: Why didn’t you tell me?
Mr Sarcastic003: I forgot, Cassie.
shockolate: Show me the linkage. I want to see this for myself.
gatewaygirl: You forgot!?! WTF?
Mr Sarcastic003: Like I said, It’s not a big deal.
Mr Sarcastic003: Here’s the link
gatewaygirl: He forgot, he says!!!
gatewaygirl: Can you believe it?
Ima_Artiste: With Tim, young Jedi, all things are possible. :-)
shockolate: Thanks, Tim.
Mr Sarcastic003: Guys, I’ve been over Batfandom for years. You know that!
Mr Sarcastic003: Ever since I discovered Batman’s secret identity, the dynamic duo just haven’t had any appeal for me.
BowNQuiverGal: This coming from the guy who’s the source of 99% of all Bat-vids on the web.
Mr Sarcastic003: Well obviously my interest has been renewed since last weekend.
BowNQuiverGal: Oh, obviously. *snickers*
Mr Sarcastic003: Are you insinuating that I’m obsessed with B&R?
Mr Sarcastic003: How dare you, madam?
BowNQuiverGal: Tim, you’re as big a Bat-Geek as Jamie. Maybe more so.
BowNQuiverGal: You just have way more self-control is all.
Mr Sarcastic003: *glares*
BowNQuiverGal: I didn’t say it was a bad thing.
BowNQuiverGal: Personally, I think it’s kind of sexy. ;-)
Mr Sarcastic003: Heh. :-)
willow_1984: This video’s incredible, Tim!
willow_1984: But God! :-O I can’t believe you got that close to the fight.
Mr Sarcastic003: Thanks, Donna. :-)
Mr Sarcastic003: I’m just glad the camera phone’s battery held out.
L.A._Devil: Dude, I’ve hear your "theory" before and it’s total crap!
L.A._Devil: The Batman ain’t no boy billionaire!
Mr Sarcastic003: Oh, I beg to differ.
BowNQuiverGal: God, I love this rant! (grabs some popcorn)
Mr Sarcastic003: *utterly shocked*
Mr Sarcastic003: Et tu, Cissie? :-(
Ima_Artiste: *braces for another hour of his life wasted on Tim’s conspiracy theories*
BowNQuiverGal: Tim, I’m sorry but the world’s most eligible and famous
BowNQuiverGal: (and hawtest!!!)
BowNQuiverGal: bachelor on the planet spends his evenings swinging over rooftops?
BowNQuiverGal: Uh, no.
shockolate: Of course not!
shockolate: If I lived in a big pimpin’ mansion like him, I’d be chilling with supermodels all night long, seven nights a week.
gatewaygirl: OMG, total motto on the hotness!
gatewaygirl: *swoons*
gatewaygirl: That Grayson boy is yummy in my tummy.
willow_1984: Eh. He’s cute enough, I guess.
gatewaygirl: You guess?
willow_1984: He’s no redhead. ;-)
gatewaygirl: Pathetic, big sis. Simply pathetic. :-)
L.A._Devil: Timmy, you’re always saying only a multi-billionaire could afford the resources needed for all them hi-tech toys.
L.A._Devil: Bull! What about corporations?
shockolate: Or the government?
shockolate: I’ve heard the D.E.O. has a squadron of Batmen on permanent stand-by
Ima_Artiste (whisper): I wonder if they have a Batwoman available on Saturday nights...
willow_1984 (whisper): I don’t want to hear about your fetishes, hon. ;-)
Mr Sarcastic003: I never said that!
willow_1984 (whisper): Are you still sleeping on the couch?
L.A._Devil: Heck, my aunt has a home-grown superhero on permanent retainer!
L.A._Devil: So it can’t be that expensive.
Mr Sarcastic003: What I’ve said is that, given the evidence I’ve accumulated, the most logical explanation is that Batman is a lone individual with considerable personal resources.
gatewaygirl: That’s right! I forgot about those horrible, horrible Blue Devil movies.
L.A._Devil: Hey! Stop slamming Aunt Marla’s movies!!!
Ima_Artiste (whisper): Yeah, Alex is still pissed about the Kori Anders thing
willow_1984 (whisper): Good. She is totally justified
gatewaygirl: I can smell the sequels stinking up pop culture from here.
L.A._Devil: I mean it!
gatewaygirl: Peeeee-ew!
L.A._Devil: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
gatewaygirl: You can’t hurt me. My powers of smart-ass hot blondeness will protect me. :-)
L.A._Devil: ....damn.
shockolate: Whoever they are, Batman & Robin aren’t a billionaire and his kid sister.
BowNQuiverGal: Bet it’s not that difficult to be an urban creature of the night.
Mr Sarcastic003: Kid sister? For the love of...!
BowNQuiverGal: I think I could do it!
Ima_Artiste (whisper): Hey, it was a commission!
willow_1984 (whisper): The portrait, yes. The afternoon sex? That’s called prostitution.
Mr Sarcastic003: I’ll say this one last time: Richard Grayson and his ward (Ward! Not his "kid sister") Stephanie Brown are too Batman and Robin!
Ima_Artiste (whisper): I didn’t touch her!
Ima_Artiste (whisper): Christ, why you chicks gotta be jealous alla the time I’ll never understand.
gatewaygirl: Cis, your mom would kill you if you even thought of it!
BowNQuiverGal: Don’t be daft, girl. Think of the publicity!
BowNQuiverGal: She’d be totally for it.
willow_1984 (whisper): Why of course, Kyle! I can’t imagine why a girl would get defensive when her man gets some from a extraterrestrial/supermodel/slut? ;-)
Ima_Artiste (whisper): Hypocrite. ;-)
AzureAvenger: Damn. Paco’s not online.
willow_1984: wb Jamie
Ima_Artiste (whisper): I dare you to tell me that if you had a chance to photograph say, Roy Harper, for the college paper, you wouldn’t totally jump his bones.
gatewaygirl: What about the Olympics?
BowNQuiverGal: Eh, I train every day anyway. What’s an extra couple of hours at the gym?
Ima_Artiste (whisper): I *dare* you!
Mr Sarcastic003: I’d give Cissie better than even odds of being a heroine.
BowNQuiverGal: Thank you, Tim. :-)
L.A._Devil: Notice he didn’t say a successful one...
BowNQuiverGal: :-P
willow_1984 (whisper): Mmmmm, redheads.
willow_1984 (whisper): My personal Kryptonite
Ima_Artiste (whisper): Mwahahahaha!
willow_1984 (whisper): *would love to learn firsthand if ‘Arsenal’ is an accurate name*
Ima_Artiste: *chokes on his soda*
Ima_Artiste: Goddamn, woman!
willow_1984: ROFL
gatewaygirl: What’s so funny?
willow_1984: I’ll explain when you’re older :-)
Ima_Artiste: There’s Pepsi all over my keyboard...
willow_1984 (whisper): Sticky, just the way Kori likes it. :-P
shockolate: Yo, why’s the mod get to swear?
Ima_Artiste (whisper): Ixnay, Donna!
Ima_Artiste (whisper): Alex just came in to check up on me!
willow_1984: I’ll explain that when you’re older too, Virgil.
Ima_Artiste (whisper): *panic mode engaged*
willow_1984: *laughs@Ima_Artiste*
L.A._Devil: You calmed down yet, Avenger?
AzureAvenger: Yeah, I’m good.
BowNQuiverGal: Sure?
AzureAvenger: Uh-huh
BowNQuiverGal: Kewl, ‘cause Tim’s posted the video on YouTube
AzureAvenger: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!
AzureAvenger: I’m there!
AzureAvenger: brb
BowNQuiverGal: That’ll keep him busy for hours. :-D
L.A._Devil: Hi-five, QuiverGal!
willow_1984: Anyway, if we could all just stop getting sidetracked long enough to get back to the topic at hand...
Mr Sarcastic003: There was a topic at hand? ;-)
willow_1984: Yes, smart-alec. :-)
willow_1984: Where did you film this?
Mr Sarcastic003: In the suburb where I live, about five blocks down from G.I.T.
gatewaygirl: G.I.T.?
Mr Sarcastic003: Gotham Institute of Technology
L.A._Devil: "Cor blimey! But ain’t he a stupid G.I.T., g’uvnor!"
BowNQuiverGal: *listens for Tim’s crickets on Eddie’s behalf*
AzureAvenger: Back!
L.A._Devil: wb Jamie
L.A._Devil: I was just talking about you
AzureAvenger: Tim, You da man!
willow_1984: Eddie, behave!
willow_1984: And shush! You’re interrupting Tim
AzureAvenger: That was awesome!!!
Mr Sarcastic003: The best five minutes of my life, for sure, J.
Mr Sarcastic003: I still don’t recognize the woman B&R were fighting, though.
shockolate: Yeah, but you haven’t told us how this proves Batman’s identity.
Mr Sarcastic003: Prepare to be dazzled, shockolate and do try to keep up.
Mr Sarcastic003: What we know, fact one: Bruce Wayne’s parents were murdered in front of his eyes when he was a small child. Spent his youth traveling around the world.
Mr Sarcastic003: Fact two: Twenty years later, Batman shows up
Mr Sarcastic003: Three: Richard Grayson was a circus acrobat act. His parents were also murdered during a performance, a performance watched by Wayne.
Mr Sarcastic003: Four: Bruce Wayne gains custody of Grayson as his ward. A few months after that, Robin debuts.
Mr Sarcastic003: Five: Intense examination of archival footage of Robin in action compared with Grayson circus performances reveal that they’ve had the same acrobatic training. Further examination reveals that Robin is Richard Grayson. By extension, Bruce Wayne is Batman
Mr Sarcastic003: Also, Grayson is a better acrobat than Batman/Wayne.
Mr Sarcastic003: Six: Richard Grayson graduates from college and moves to New York at the exact same time that a grown up Robin adopts the name of Nightwing.
Mr Sarcastic003: Seven: A second Robin debuts shortly afterwards. (Who I believe was Jason Todd, Wayne’s second ward)
Mr Sarcastic003: Eight: Wayne and Todd both die four years ago in Africa while "on safari." B&R disappear. Coincidence?
Mr Sarcastic003: Nine: Nightwing "disappears" from the Titans line-up. No explanation ever given. Meanwhile, Grayson returns to Gotham and takes over control of WayneCorp.
Mr Sarcastic003: Ten: Batman returns after a month long absence. Public thinks it’s the same guy.
shockolate: We’ve heard alla this before...
Mr Sarcastic003: Intense examination of last week’s footage reveals Batman has exact same acrobatic style as Nightwing/Robin I.
Mr Sarcastic003: Do the math, people. *stands truimphant*
shockolate: That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!
AzureAvenger: No it’s not! Tim’s speaking gospel here.
Ima_Artiste: I would find it much harder to dispute the boy’s logic if he wasn’t so damn smug ;-)
Mr Sarcastic003: It’s not arrogance. I’m just that good. :-)
shockolate: "Oh! Clearly Batman is a former circus acrobat because he can do a one and a half gainer into a swimming pool...JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER ACROBAT ON EARTH!!!
L.A._Devil: Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!
Mr Sarcastic003: Come on, man.
gatewaygirl: It makes sense to me.
gatewaygirl: I mean, you never see Batman and Grayson in the same room together.
willow_1984: You never see Superman and Michael Stipe together, either.
willow_1984: Saaaaaay, you don’t suppose...?
gatewaygirl: :-P
Ima_Artiste: "I am, I am, I am Supermaaaaaan! And I can do anything!"
BowNQuiverGal: (gets up and shimmies around the room)
willow_1984: LOL
gatewaygirl: *giggles* Shake it, babe!
Mr Sarcastic003: I can back all of this up with physical documentation compiled over the last eight years, if I so choose
shockolate: Then hand it over!
shockolate: Give me and my boy Gear a chance to review your evidence for ourselves.
Mr Sarcastic003: Hand my research over to you? Not a chance!!!
shockolate: Why, you afraid we’ll shoot your crap theory down?
shockolate: You should be!
Mr Sarcastic003: What-ever, shocker.
willow_1984: Well, I believe you, Tim.
Mr Sarcastic003: Why thank you, willow. :-)
willow_1984: Or course, sweetie.
willow_1984: *patronizingly pats Tim’s head*
willow_1984: ;-)
Mr Sarcastic003: *sighs*
L.A._Devil: Nyah nyah nyah nyaaaaah!!!
Mr Sarcastic003: *flips everyone the bird*
AzureAvenger: Tim? *raises hand*
AzureAvenger: Is Robin just as hot in person as she is in the poster hanging in my bedroom?
Mr Sarcastic003: Oh yeah!
Mr Sarcastic003: Hotter
L.A._Devil: That poster he stares at while molesting himself...
AzureAvenger: *ignores the jealous single white boy*
L.A._Devil: Jealous? Of you? Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
AzureAvenger: Sure!
AzureAvenger: Unlike you, I really am dating a smart-ass hot blonde offline.
BowNQuiverGal: LOL
L.A._Devil: Touche, brother. Touche
shockolate: You got pwned, sucka! :-)
BowNQuiverGal: No snappy comeback, Ed?
L.A._Devil: Nope. :-(
BowNQuiverGal: For shame!
L.A._Devil: Dude, I’ve seen Hy-mae’s girl via webcam. If you had too, you’d understand why he wins.
Ima_Artiste: So have I. Babelicious!
willow_1984: *ahem* And underage, hon.
Ima_Artiste: Well, yeah...but still babelicious.
AzureAvenger: Damn straight!
willow_1984: Go back to cleaning your keyboard, Kyle. ;-)
Ima_Artiste: :-P
AzureAvenger: *should replace Robin’s poster with pics of Rose*
shockolate: I still say it’s a team of government agents.
willow_1984: And I say it’s time to punch out.
gatewaygirl: You’re leaving? :-(
gatewaygirl: No!!! *makes sad puppy dog eyes*
willow_1984: Sorry, sweetie, but you’ve all kept me up past a sensible bedtime.
gatewaygirl: Who’s going to help me mock these boys now?
BowNQuiverGal: It’s only 9:30.
willow_1984: Yes, but jetlag’s a bitch.
willow_1984: I’m so tired...
willow_1984: *dies of exhaustion*
gatewaygirl: Ok, I give. :-)
gatewaygirl: *HUGS* Sleep tight, big sister.
willow_1984: *HUGS*
willow_1984: Don’t let the bedbugs bite, little sister.
AzureAvenger: She should change her sheets ;-)
willow_1984: :-P to you too, Jamie.
Ima_Artiste: Bye willowgirl *blows kiss*
Mr Sarcastic003: Later Donna
BowNQuiverGal: bye willowgirl :)
Ima_Artiste (whisper): From Arsenal with love. ;-)
willow_1984 (whisper): Starfire says "call me, stud."
shockolate: Evans, you gonna be online tomorrow?
willow_1984: I wouldn’t count on it.
shockolate: ok, it’s cool
shockolate: Take it easy
willow_1984: You too, Virgil
L.A._Devil: See ya, Donna
willow_1984: *hugs & kisses to everyone*
willow_1984: Bye all

[willow_1984 logged off 08/24/08 at 21:37 PM.]

Dead Letter Department, Episode Three

2009-09-27T17:30:01Z

More "Dear Mom/John/Penthouse" letters from the DCU, this time courtesy of GOTHAM CENTRAL 11, a perfect introductory issue if you’re unfamiliar with the series. The writer, Stacey, is the receptionist for Gotham City P.D.’s Major Crimes Unit. As such, her work is starting to interfere with her personal life in strange ways. Like romantic daydreams about a certain dark knight, f’rinstance...

Words by Ed Brubaker. Also (since this is practically the whole issue anyway), SPOILERS!

Hey, Meg.

You asked me to tell you about my job, so I guess I will. But you have to swear on the ghosts of Billie Holiday and Bruce Lee that you won’t tell anyone anything I reveal, okay? I’m not kidding. Really.

Okay, so anyway. I have a really strange job in lots of ways, and it’s starting to seep into the rest of my life... I know, embarassing, right? I’m rumbling along on the way to work and already I’m daydreaming about him. I don’t know what to tell you, Meg. I guess I’m just a perv.

Remember when you used to have those dreams about our dorm monitor? That guy with the hair? At least I don’t have to see this guy every day. Or really ever. Hell, I didn’t even know he was real until I got this job.

So, what is my job, exactly? It’s complicated. Technically, I work for a civilian organization that temps me out to the G.C.P.D., so I’m not actually a city employee. But in reality, I work in the Major Crimes Unit, doing reception and computer work. And more importantly, I turn on the Bat-Signal. When it needs to be turned on, I mean.

That’s really why I can’t be a city employee. A few years ago a case got thrown out because the perps claimed the police sicced Batman on them and violated their rights. See, the G.C.P.D. has never acknowledged Batman as anything other than an urban legend, and they claim the signal is just a deterrent. To scare the bad guys.

But the judge on this case had actually seen Batman once, so he threw out the confessions, and since then, no one on the force is allowed to touch the Bat-Signal. Because if the police turn it on, they’re saying that Batman is their agent, and they can’t do that. Funny how in a bureaucracy it’s not okay for the police commissioner to flip a switch himself, but it’s okay for him to tell *me* to. Just another reason why the system is totally screwed up, I suppose.

So anyway, that’s my job. I call Batman (who is, in fact, REAL). Not that I’m usually around when he arrives. But I have seen him a few times. Just enough to know he makes me weak in the knees.

But like I said, most of my job is working with the detectives in the squad room, which has turned out to be something I really like. At first I was a little leery, because I was never all that fond of cops. Growing up, the only ones I ever came in contact with were bitter men on power trips. But the cops I work with aren’t those kind of cops. They’re the good kind. They care about their work, and they take their jobs seriously. Although you wouldn’t know it sometimes.

Detective Josephine MacDonald, mostly called Josie Mac, has been filling in on the first shift for almost three months now. Still, every morning one of the detectives, usually Detective Cohen, hides her coffee mug. Under normal circumstances, this hazing would’ve probably ended a long time ago, except that Josie always finds the mug without any trouble. I have no idea how she does it, but it drives the other detectives nuts.

That’s one thing that took me a while to get used to, all the joking around. These men and women investigate the most heinous crimes you’ve ever heard of. They walk through bloodbaths looking for answers for dead people, and yet they spend half their time cracking me up.

Of course, the squad room also has more than its fair share of soap opera, too. The current drama of the second shift is the bizarre love triangle of Detective Romy Chandler, Nat Patton and Marcus Driver. Nate and Romy are partners, and he’s had a not-so-secret crush on her since the day they met, I think. But they don’t talk about it, and nothing has ever happened between them.

But something has been happening between Romy and Detective Driver. And of course, I’m the only one who knows about it. Because four months ago I caught them making out on the roof. It’s not a real popular place, because most of the cops don’t like to even look at the Bat-Signal, so I sometimes take my break up there, just to be alone for a while. I guess that was what Romy and Marcus were hoping for, too.

In any case, they swore me to secrecy, and I haven’t told anyone, but people are starting to notice anyway. They’re cops. They learn as much from body language as they do from what people actually say. So I’ve just been watching Nate grow more and more aware of the situation, and it’s kind of agonizing. He’s a really nice guy under his rough exterior. It’s got to hurt, knowing his partner’s keeping something from him, especially something like this.

The whole partner thing is so weird, anyway. The bond between these cops runs deeper than a lot of marriages sometimes. Like Detective Allen. His parnter, Renee Montoya went through some really awful stuff and had to take some time off. Since then, he’s been partnering with Josie Mac. They actually make a good team, but Detective Allen just won’t give her a break because he’s waiting for his "real" partner to return. And from what I can tell, he likes Josie better than any of the other cops in this squad room...

I was saying that these are the good kind of cops, and the fact that Sarge is so worked up over the Petersen case only reinforces that. Especially since it’s just a loose end to a much bigger case that he already closed.

Four days ago some convict called Tiny Maxwell (and no, he’s not tiny at all) was allowed out of the State Penitentiary to attend his mother’s funeral in Gotham. Maxwell was a three-time loser, a murderer with no hope of parole. So, of course he takes this opportunity to escape. And in the process of escaping, he hijacks a hearse that still has the body of Sven Petersen in the back. Runs off with the dearly departed right in front of the whole Petersen family.

Sargeant Davies and his partner, Detective Crowe find Tiny Maxwell three hours later. He’s sitting at the bar in his old favorite hangout, which is practically the first place they look. You’d be surprised how stupid most criminals are. He murders a guard and hijacks a corpse, and then just goes back to have a drink with his old pals afterwards.

So, Tiny tells them where he ditched the hearse, but when they go to pick it up, things get complicated. No coffin, no Sven Petersen and no clues as to where he might have gone.

Now, a lot of cops might’ve just kicked the case downstairs at this point, since grave-robbing isn’t really considered a major crime in a city like Gotham. The homicide angle was already closed, so no one would’ve blamed Sarge for passing the case on, but he can’t do it. He’s seen the faces of the Petersen family, and he has to find their father for them.

And I think stuff like that, going the extra mile when they don’t have to, that makes me really feel like I’m part of something good here. Something important. That’s probably why I’ve stayed here so long. Because sometimes you just look at this city and wonder how it could’ve gotten so bad. And I think I like knowing there are people working to make it better.

I like seeing the progress, even if I know each arrest is just another drop in the bucket. It’s still nice to watch murderers and rapists get taken off the streets. And it’s nice to know there’s still *some* justice in this world. Because a lot of the time it doesn’t feel like there is.

Like what happened to Detective Driver. His partner was killed a while back by one of those costumed criminals, Mr. Freeze. You may have even heard about that out on the West Coast. "Super-villain kills cop" still makes the news out there, right? Anyway, so Driver had to testify at Mr. Freeze’s competency hearing...As far as most of the M.C.U. is concerned, there is rarely any justice for cops killed by costumed freaks in this city.

So, anyway, let me tell you how Sarge and Driver solved the Petersen case. It was the student council president of Gotham High School and his best friend. They found the hearse when they were looking for props for their haunted house. Real hardened criminals. (Ha!) They thought a real live corpse would help them make the best haunted house ever. The kind future generations of idiot jocks would talk about fondly.

Sarge leaves them cuffed to the bench right by the doors, so the Petersen family can get a good look at them when they come to claim their father. He figured whatever kind of slap on the wrist they’d get in family court would pale in comparison to actually seeing the pain and suffering they caused firsthand. And I think he was right, too, because they both start crying like babies.

Which makes me think about something Commissioner Gordon said to me, before he retired.: "What you’ll realize over time is that a lot of criminals aren’t really all that bad at heart, they just don’t think through the ramifications of their actions. They want something, or they’re on drugs, so they do things without ever thinking about the damage they’re going to cause. In a way, people like that bother me more than the true freaks. There’s just no excuse for the kind of mindless ignorance when you live in a society. That’s why I don’t mind putting them in jail."

So, when did I start having fantasies about Batman? Well, I don’t know if they’re fantasies, exactly, more like lucid daydreams, really. Anyway, if started sometime after I broke up with Josh.

Josh was just so mean to me during the big break-up talk. All this stuff that I never even knew about came up. How he didn’t like my music, and how I need to go shopping too much and that bored him. Lots of other stuff, little things he never liked about me.

And he really hated my job. He didn’t understand how I could be working for "the Man." He called me a sell-out. And of course I said "At least I have a job" which didn’t go over so well at the time, but I’m glad I said it now.

But anyway, I woke up later that night and I was so sad and so lonely. I’d get over it, but it sucked right then, y’know? To have someone just trash your life like that and then you’re left alone in that life.

And I don’t know, I just wanted someone to take me away from all that. I wanted Batman to just step out of the shadows like he does and sweep me off my feet. Somehow that idea just really appealed to me, and it helped me get back to sleep that night. Like a mystery lover who lives only in my mind. I know what you’re going to say. I’m pathetic. Get a boyfriend with batteries. I know. God, I really need to get a new boyfriend.

Write me back soon,

Love,
Stacy

P.S. If you tell anyone about my Batman fixation, I really will kill you.

Signs of the Approaching Armageddon #2,157.

2009-09-24T15:38:19Z

Lil' Gotham? Why? Christ!

Potpourri

2009-07-20T18:22:14Z

So, I begged Mithen to send a meme my way, because I’ve been terribly writer’s blocked and I need to try this "re-focusing" thing. And awaaaaaaay we go!

1) Inertia (the character, although the concept is fine too!) Let’s talk about both.

Inertia, the character: I’m not very knowledgeable about the character; my knowledge of him comes from one issue of FLASH: FASTEST MAN ALIVE, the internet and what I’ve been able to interpolate between those two sources.

What I’ve learned about Inertia clearly fascinates me. A teenage clone from the future, Thaddeus Thawne has been mentally conditioned to dispose of & replace his genetic donor, Bart (Kid Flash) Allen as part of a ridiculously long running feud between the Allen/Thawne clans. He’s quite desperate to reacquire his "stolen" superspeed, by any means necessary. The boy is a product of a bad environment, where he was raised to be cunning, ruthless and a cold-blooded killer. There was also a brief window in his life where he could’ve turned away from all that, but that was slammed shut during INFINITE CRISIS.

That last bit is why I like Inertia; fanfic potential. Could he have reformed or was he destined to be an unavoidable victim of his society? And if he could have turned from the dark, what would his life had been like? What was he doing in between appearances? (I alluded to this a bit in Retry.) Why did Zoom pick him to be his apprentice in ROGUES’ REVENGE? I plan to write more about the kid someday, just as soon as I can track down some more back issues.

Finally, and apropos of perhaps nothing, he comes off (to me, at least) as a pint-sized, pubescent-mustache twirling, tie-Marian-to-the-tracks type of villain. A teenaged James Bond nemesis Auric Goldfinger, gleefully watching as the laser creeps ever closer to eviscerating another damned do-dooder. "Do you expect me to talk, Inertia?" "No, Mr. West, I expect you to die!"

Inertia as a scientific principle: The resistance of mass i.e. any physical object to a change in its state of motion. Or in other words, my life over the last year. :)

2) Epistolary: Now that’s a fancy word. Please excuse me while I look this up in a dictionary. Ah, here we go... "Epistolary: contained in or carried on by letters: an epistolary friendship." Letters? What do I have to do with...? Oh, right! Dead Letter Department. ;)

The irony is that I’ve not handwritten a letter to anyone in at least a decade and my e-mail account is zen-like in its sparseness. (When one’s computer crashes an average of 1.5 times a year, one becomes paranoid about infected spam.)

This reminds me that I should post about GOTHAM CENTRAL #11 real soon...

3) Donna Troy: I covered this topic back here, but let me further add that Phil Jiminez doesn’t get enough credit for the idea. Answering the question "Who is Donna Troy?" with the response "She’s every woman" is a high concept, out Morrisoning-Morrison kind of pure genius. It’s also damn near impossible to do anything with it.

After writing the initial introductory fic for my ninety prompts, I very became stuck for a direction. It’s not a problem of having no ideas of where to go with these fics, it’s about where to start. Infinity is a huge place and when one is surrounded by wide open spaces to explore, it becomes difficult to decide where to start exploring first. Everything looks the same.

Think about that! Fans have complained for years that Donna Troy has no character depth. I’m finding just the opposite; there’s so much potential depth that it dwarves the (DC) universe. I find that perversely amazing. And frustrating.

The silver lining is that I have my final destination, the ninetieth fic, all plotted in my head. I know how the story ends, at a burnt out husk of a farmstead in the middle of a typically cold Minnesota winter. But half the fun is getting there and right now? I’m totally lost.

But until then...who’s up for Donna Troy and the Half-Blood Prince?

4) Renee Montoya: These days, when I think of Montoya, I think of her jet-set life in the spandex community and I’m reminded of a quote from comic internet fanboy Kent Orlando, better known as the infamous Uncle Cheeks; "The most erroneous case of missing the bloody point as I have ever seen." He was speaking about the Dan Jurgens/Mike Carlin METAL MAN mini of the early nineties, but it certainly applies to Renee Montoya as a frickin’ super-heroine!

I like Renee, a lot. She was a great character in GOTHAM CENTRAL, a cop full of conflicts in both her professional and private life. In short, she’s human. Relatable. An everyday person just trying to survive in a world of metahumans.

But the problem is, as soon as you put her in a faceless mask, have her shooting guns at Intergang freaks and dating a Bat? There goes the relatability and with it suspension of disbelieve. You can’t tell me that anyone can go from getting her ass handed to her on a plate by Two Face to fighting off the hordes of Apokolips in less than a year. Nobody can go from zero to superhero that quick! Seriously, name me someone. Oh yeah, I had forgotten about him...and her, too. That guy, too? Damn...

Okay, so it happens all the time in comic books. But dammit! She was in GOTHAM CENTRAL! That series was perfect as it, ain’t no reason to piss with it all! *sigh*

Don’t ask me about Cris Allen.

5) Philosophy: I geek, therefore I am.

Goodbye, Cruel Bat-World!

2009-07-18T20:07:15Z

For no particular reason, a listing of the last words of a certain Dark Knight, as quoted from the Neil Gaiman scripted (and gloriously cracktastic) Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader. (BATMAN 686 & DETECTIVE 853.)

1) "So much to do..."

2) "Put the gun down, Eddie..."

3) "There's always something you can do."

4) "I don't quit. It's not over. It's never over."

5) "Because it's not funny."

6) "Everyone's worth it."

7) "And while they're trying to kill me, they aren't killing innocents. Now take me home."

8) "Goodnight. Goodbye. Goodnight."

Causes of death, in order: surviving getting shot in an alleyway just long enough to bleed out on Selina Kyle's couch, shot in the face by the Riddler, riding the dynamite express into the East Gotham river, killed by the Mad Hatter (Now that's good hat!), overdosing on Joker venom ("Smile, damn you!"), turned into dinosaur chow, sacrificing his life for Clayface (Lame!), drowning in a flood, taken out by a scorpion sting after facing down the full might of the League of Assassins (More lame!), killed by everybody after spending the weekend's at Clark's, drowning (again), burned alive, crushed by steel girders, getting shot (again, this time four to the chest), pulped while spearing a Decepticon in the eye, killed by Gotham's Finest during 'Year One', turned into Man-Bat chow, sucking face with Talia (every fanboy's wet dream), visiting Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum (or something...) and finally, Bane make snappy!

What? Stop looking at me like that.

It's summer already? Damn!

2009-06-06T21:40:38Z

Yeah, I've been gone awhile. Life, she has been a busy.

Still, it's amazing what one can miss in a month's time. Like, mithen's birthday, f'rinstance. (Um, Happy Belated, J!) Also, both the_ferret and cissie_king have deleted their journals. And my muse! I definitely miss that. (See also: free time.)

When I do have time to play, I'm spending it reading ecocomics. Where the real world and four-colors meet. Good stuff.

And now, I'm going back outside. In the rain. Whee. Arrrooooooooo!

Fic: As It Once Was.

2009-04-23T15:52:50Z

Title: As It Once Was.
Author: mirage_delgado.
Fandom: DC Universe.
Characters: Donna Troy.
Word Count: 803.
Prompt: 86, the first of the "writer’s choice" prompts.
Rating: PG for existential angst!
Disclaimer: Not mine. DC Comics owns all. (Except for Superboy. Maybe.)
Summary: The introductory fic in a series of ninety (theoretically) connected fics.

"If this is the best of all worlds, what are the others like?" Voltaire, Candide.

[The present.]

Donna Troy knows there is no air in a vacuum, but she feels a light breeze gently ruffle her hair. She also knows that the laws of science say there is no sound in outer space, yet she can hear the wind’s soft howl echo throughout the crumbling ruins of this ancient metropolis. Just a few of the many incongruities on Day 9,168 of the rest of her life, another day wherein things don’t make a bit of sense. Another day she wakes up confused and pissed off.

Pissed off because it was her morning to open the library, but she had forgot to set the alarm and had overslept (again) and the last thing she needed was her boss cursing her up and down for being late (again) and so she found herself half dressed, in a frantic search for her car keys (for a car that doesn’t exist) before she caught herself. Caught herself shaking her head, telling herself that life wasn’t hers. It never was yours, you stupid ass, only the memory of it and why are you crying anyway?

Most of her days start off like that, in a state of confusion, panic and perpetual deja vu. It usually fades the first few minutes after waking up, but not today.

Today she walks the lifeless streets of New Chronus. She returns whenever she needs to clear her head or finds herself in need of a new beginning. She starts by asking the question she’s asked herself everyday for the last four hundred and thirty six; Who is Donna Troy?

The answer, in order: Amazon. Daughter. Sister. Photographer. Heroine. Widow. Unique. Alone.

She knows she should talk about this with Mother or Diana or Dick. But she won’t. She knows they would be sympathetic without understanding and she really doesn’t see the point of it. She’s almost unable to comprehend it herself, let alone up to the task of explaining it to family.

But if anyone ever called her hard enough on it, she would put it in these terms: Once upon a time, there was no life. No worlds, no stars, no universe. There was nothing but the darkness of The Void. Into The Void came The Noise. The Noise begat The Light. The Light replaced The Void with the universe -The One. Eons later, The One became an infinity of worlds with an affinity for life, until Infinity reverted back into One (and would again become, if not truly infinite, then Many.)

Naturally, all sentient life assumed that the universe had been just the One, period. This was wrong, but understandable. The great Crisis had reset everyone’s perceptions, probably for the better. The knowledge that the whole of Creation truly is infinite...such knowledge is dangerous to the human mind. Revelation brings awareness. Awareness brings madness. Madness brings the end of reason, of civilization.

Donna understood that much and agreed with it.

She alone remembered Infinity, as it once was. She remembered each of the worlds that comprised it. Scientists called it the multiverse. Parallel universes, segregated from one another. Nearly identical Earths, except when they weren’t. Most of them were impossible to reach, many of them untamed. Untamed, dangerous worlds that neither she nor anyone else ever had any business visiting. Not that this had stopped her, of course...

She knows she should talk about this with Mother or Diana or Dick or anyone, really. But she won’t. She won’t because none of them remember Infinity, as it once was. None of them remember these parallel Donnas, segregated from one another. These nearly identical Donnas, except when they weren’t. An infinite number of Donnas, all of them now long dead.

These Donnas, all of whom are ghosts in possession of her mind.

She won’t talk to anyone about this because none of them would mourn.

She returns to New Chronus whenever she finds herself in need of a new beginning. She starts by asking the question she’s asked herself everyday for the last four hundred and thirty six. Who is Donna Troy? Confused. Unique. Alone. No comfort at all there.

Perhaps it’s time for a new question. Who was Donna Troy? A woman with an infinite set of experiences, gained from an infinite number of parallel lives lived under an infinite set of life circumstances.

Donna Troy knows that there is no air in a vacuum, yet she feels the breeze. No sound, but she hears the wind howl. Just a few of the many incongruities of her life on Day 9,168, the rest of her life.

Another day where nothings makes sense.

She closes her eyes. And remembers Infinity, as it once was.

This is Day One of the past.

DCU_free_for_all: Donna Troy's Table.

2009-04-21T18:54:20Z

A month ago, I felt like talking about Donna Troy. I still do. No, that's not right. I feel like writing some fic about her. And that brings me to dcu_free_for_all, which also brings me to this:

Donna Troy's world tour.

1) Metropolis	2) Gotham City	3) Themyscira	4) New York City	5) Bludhaven
6) Coast City	7) Central City	8) Star City	9) Hub City	10) Keystone City
11) Fawcett City	12) St. Roch	13) Sub Diego	14) Atlantis	15) Chicago
16) Washington, D.C.	17) San Francisco	18) Los Angeles	19) Seattle	20) El Paso
21) Kahndaq	22) Bialya	23) Oolong Island	24) Nanda Parbat	25) Stryker's Island
26) Arkham Asylum	27) Belle Reve Prison	28) Camus Labs	29) S.T.A.R. Labs	30) Blackgate Prison
31) Kansas	32) Smallville	33) The Kent Farm	34) Fortress of Solitude	35) Kandor
36) The Daily Planet	37) Centennial Park	38) Metropolis Steelworks	39) Suicide Slum	40) Luthorcorp Building
41) Wayne Enterprises	42) Wayne Manor	43) The Bat-Cave	44) Titans' Tower (East)	45) Titans' Tower (West)
46) JLA Watchtower	47) JLA Headquarters	48) JSA Headquarters	49) The Hall of Doom	50) Legion of Super Heroes Headquarters
51) Checkmate Headquarters	52) The Themysciran Embassy	53) Sherwood Florist	54) Flash Museum	55) Edwards Air Force Base
56) Earth	57) Earth's Moon	58) Mars	59) Krypton	60) Argo City
61) Rann	62) Thanagar	63) Oa	64) Apokolips	65) New Genesis
66) Mogo	67) Tamaran	68) Colu	69) Takron Galtos	70) Bizarro World
71) Warworld	72) The Phantom Zone	73) The Source Wall	74) Azarath	75) Titan
76) The Speed Force	77) The Rock of Eternity	78) Mount Olympus	79) Zrrf (the 5th Dimension)	80) Hypertime
81) Heaven	82) Hell	83) Purgatory	84) Earth 2	85) The Palmerverse
86) Writer's Choice	87) Writer's Choice	88) Writer's Choice	89) Writer's Choice	90) Writer's Choice

Retrying "Retry."

2009-04-14T21:10:56Z

Title: Retry.
Author: mirage_delgado.
Fandom: DC Universe.
Characters: Inertia.
Word Count: 848.
Rating: PG.
Disclaimer: Not mine. DC Comics owns all. (Except for Superboy. Maybe.)
Summary: Revamp of a week-old fic originally written as an exercise from mithen at superhero_muses: write a fic in the second-person imperative voice. ("Do this. Turn left. Feel the quiet river rage." etc.)

[Start Craydl subroutine /imp53. Access DNA files: Thawne, Thaddeus.]

[File found. Initiate DNA re-sequencing procedure.]

[3...2...1...Procedure complete. Initiate cloning procedure.]

[Start Craydl subroutine /FCRR3. Access memory backup template: Thawne, Thaddeus. Accessing...]

[Data not found.]

[Retry access memory backup template. Searching...]

[...]

[Searching...file found. Begin backup memory upload.]

Be born.

Breathe. Cry. Grow. Spend centuries growing. Slowly. Suffer through life, decelerated.

Learn.

Learn to run. Learn patience. Learn about history, technology, physics and speed. Learn about your twin. (WWBD? - What Would Bart Do? Something illogical.) Learn everything.

Be a good boy. Listen to your grandfather. [Primary subdirective: Listen to Craydl.] Be an unquestioning weapon. (Don’t ask why.) Learn the mission: Disposal and replacement of Bart Allen/Impulse.

Learn hatred.

(Hate? Bart Allen? Yes. I hate Bart Allen! I hate him!) [HATE/HATE/HATE/HATE/HATE...]

[Recognize error in mental conditioning. Correct error? Y/N?]

[N.]

[Hostile emotional response within accepted parameters. Continue? Y/N?]

[Y.]

Start running.

[Start Craydl subroutine /imp50. Temporal access: early twenty first century. Access granted.]

Run into the past. Watch. Wait. (Wait for it!) Strike out at Bart. Underestimate him. And then lose.

[Mission failure: Abort. Retry? Y/N? Y.]

Watch. Wait. Strike. Don’t underestimate him again.

[Primary mission objective: replace Bart Allen/Impulse completed.]

Succeed. (Finally!)

[Awaiting new objective.]

Live. Breathe. Grow. Learn. Start learning to live for yourself and maybe even learn how to...

[Ignore primary subdirective. Y/N?]

[...]

Do what now? Disobey Grandfather? Ask why?

[Error.]

(But is it really?)

[Continue mission? Y/N?]

Decide, if you can.

[Y.]

Run into the Speed Force. Take Mercury with you. (Don’t personalize this by calling him Max.) Don’t feel empathy. (And no matter what, don’t ask why you’re doing this.)

Ask why you’re doing this.

[Error.]

Fail. Betray your lineage. Fail your grandfather. (Damn your logic! A weapon can’t fail. It can only malfunction. Besides, I didn’t fail you, old man! You failed me!)

[Abort/Retry/Fail?]

Fail. Oh, epic fail.

[Abort. Action cancelled.]

Flee. Run. Hide. Flee to anywhere but here. Run until exhausted. Hide in a place where no one knows Bart Allen.

Settle down in Europe. Rebuild yourself. Breathe. Cry. Grow. Spend months growing, at your own pace. Learn how to love life, decelerated.

Learn. Learn about laughter, joy, mercy and falling in love. Don’t think about your twin. (What Would Bart Do? Who gives a shit!) Take joy in the small things. Ignore the subroutines playing in your head and take it all for-granted.

Wait one year.

Lose your speed. Feel the loss of power as keenly as that of a limb. Suffer through life, decelerated. Call yourself a cripple and cry. And then swallow your pride. Beg your artificial womb for help.

[Start Craydl subroutine /FC107. Discover source of speed loss: Searching...]

Find your stolen speed in Keystone. Recognize the thief?

[Retrieve mission objective: Disposal and replacement of Bart Allen/Impulse.]

[Correct mission parameters: Bart Allen/Flash.]

Regain it at all costs. Regain it by killing the Flash. (Yes. Kill Bart Allen! Kill him!)

[KILL/KILL/KILL/KILL/KILL...]

[Recognize error: Subject overwriting mission parameters. Correct error? Y/N?]

[N.]

[Error. Initiate Craydl subroutine /FMA13. Memory reboot...Error.]

[Initiate new directive: manual override Craydl subroutine /FMA13. Override successful.]

Outgrow the womb. Make it yours. Make it work for you.

Return to America. Lower yourself to work with incompetents and your inferiors. (Note to self: kill Slade as soon as possible.) Shoot up twice daily. Endanger the pretty girl scientist. Don’t think about laughter, mercy and falling in love. Think about your twin and his reaction when he discovers you had your hands all over his bitch.

Watch. Wait. Strike out at Bart. Underestimate him. Experience deja vu all over again.

Recruit the Rogues. Lie often. ("We’re changing the world, Cold.") Drain the Speed Force. Be the Fastest Man Alive. By any means necessary.

Laugh as he dies. Panic as your speed doesn’t return. Run before they turn on you.

Get captured. And taunt. (What Did Bart Do? He died screaming like a little bitch, Wally.)

Freeze.

Spend infinity waiting. Breathe. Rage. Stare. Spend months immobilized, doing nothing at all. Get used to life, frozen. Forget. Forget about laughter, joy, mercy and falling in love. Think about what you will do if -when- your speed returns. Make yourself promise you intend to keep. (What Will Thad Do? Fill some bodybags.)

Be patient. (Like I have a choice?) Wait for the lightning.

Begin life as Kid Zoom. (You can call me Zoooooom.) Revel in your returned speed. Teach them all better heroism through tragedy. Stab some people in the back. (Metaphorically.) Kill some children along the way, as promised. Kill the Flash! Don’t let madness get the best of you.

Don’t die. Don’t die by flame or frost or reflected laser light.

[Error.]

Oops!

Be grateful you keep a backup of your memories on Craydl’s hard drive.

[Finish Craydl subroutine /imp53: cloning procedure complete.]

[Finish Craydl subroutine /FCRR3: backup memory upload complete]

Be reborn.

Comic Book Philosophy goes existental on your ass!

2009-04-07T18:39:47Z

One last long-winded entry to wrap up Comic Book Philosophy "Month." (Oh, we all knew I would tire of this sooner rather than later.) From TEAM TITANS #14.

Battalion: "Just what the hell were you guys trying to prove here?"

Clock King: "We just wanted what everyone else wants: Money, power, the unwavering admiration of millions. *sob* But now...now we’re going to rot in some Godforsaken jail cell. As the clock ticks away. Dying. Alone. Oh, God!"

Terra: "Oh, I get it now. Your real problem is you’re obsessed with your own mortality."

Clock King: "Huh?"

Terra: "You’re afraid of death. But heck, we all are. What’s really at issue here is how you spend that time living until you die. Now, you guys have come up with some pretty peculiar and wasteful -albeit creative- ways of addressing your fears about the finite nature of your existence."

Chronos: "Fears? Who has fears?"

Terra: "You’ve even gone to great lengths to try to transcend time and death, but your calendar capes and clock-face masks and hourglasses and whatever’s up with you, Chronos, only serve to remind you that the time you cherish so much is, as ever, just ticking away. Maybe this will help. Look at each life: yours, mine, each life of everyone here as an incalculable number of moments. Each moment is like, an experience. A taste, a smell, a memory, a love- each woven together to form a larger tapestry of moments. A crazy quilt, if you will, of personal experience. And death is the moment at the end. It’s a big one, sure, but its meaning is ultimately defined by the lifetime of moments that precede it. And it’s one that makes all those others worth so much more! Reminds me of a fortune cookie I once had: ‘If you define your life by your death, you will lead a dead life.’ It other words, it’s good to have a hobby. It’s called life, boys. Get used to it."

Calender Man: "Uh, er...do you...do you think you could go back to that part about finite existence?"

Fic: Retry.

2009-04-06T18:54:38Z

A writing exercise at superhero_muses was to write a 100-400 word fic in the second-person imperative and to post it anonymously before the 6^th. So of course I don’t even start writing the damn thing until today. :) Anyhow, here’s my fic, made public to the world.

(Also, this is the second time I’ve tried to post this today. The first time, I just could not get the formatting the way I wanted it. Damn your eyes, LJ cut!)

Title: Retry.
Author: mirage_delgado.
Fandom: DC Universe.
Characters: Inertia.
Word Count: About 447.
Rating: PG.
Disclaimer: Not mine. DC Comics owns all. (Except for Superboy. Maybe.)
Summary: None for me, thanks.

Start Craydl subroutine /imp53. Access DNA files: Thawne, Thaddeus. File found. Start DNA re-sequencing procedure. 3...2...1... Procedure complete. Engage cloning procedure...
Start Craydl subroutine /FCRR3. Access memory backup template: Thawne, Thaddeus.
Retry access memory backup template.
...
...
Searching...file found. Begin backup memory upload.
Accessing... Data not found. Searching...

Be born. Spend centuries growing. Be a good boy. Listen to your grandfather. Learn. Learn about speed. Learn about hatred. Learn the mission: Disposal and replacement of Bart Allen/Impulse.

Hate Bart Allen/Impulse. Hate/Hate/Hate/Hate/Hate...

Start Craydl subroutine /imp50. Temporal access: early twenty first century. Access granted.

Run into the past. Watch. Wait. Strike. Abort/Retry/Fail.

Watch. Wait. Strike...Mission completed. Do what now?

Run into the Force. Destroy Mercury. Fail. Fail your grandfather. (I didn’t fail him! He failed me!) Abort? Retry? Fail. Action cancelled.

Flee to Europe. Rebuild. Learn. Learn to run. Learn to live.

Wait one year.

Lose speed. Call yourself a cripple and cry. Find it again in Keystone. Regain it at all costs. Regain it by killing Bart Allen/Impulse. Kill/Kill/Kill/Kill/Kill/Kill/Kill/Kill/Kill/Kill...

Recognize error: Start Craydl subroutine error. Manuel override...Override unsuccessful.

Outgrow the womb. Make it yours. Make it work for you.

Work with incompetents. Shoot up twice daily. Endanger the pretty girl scientist. Recruit Rogues. (We’re changing the world, Cold.) Nuke L.A. Drain the Speed Force. Be the Fastest Man Alive. Abort/Retry/Fail.

Get captured. And taunt. (He died screaming like a little bitch, Wally.)

Freeze.

Spend infinity waiting. Rage. Relearn about speed and hatred. Learn the new mission: Reclaim the power that is yours by birthright. By any means necessary.

Begin life as Kid Zoom. (Call me Zoooooom.) Teach them all better heroism through tragedy. Kill some children along the way.

Don’t die. Don’t die by flame or frost or reflected laser light.

Oops!

Complete Craydl subroutine /imp53: cloning procedure.
Complete Craydl subroutine /FCRR3: backup memory upload.

Be reborn.

Comic Book Philosophy: 14

2009-04-06T16:20:27Z

"To adapt an oft-repeated, fairly tiresome aphorism into a gen-active context: When you’re gone, will you wish you’d pummeled more posthuman sociopaths? Will you regret not foiling more fiendish master plans? Or, by contrast, will you regret not celebrating more good times with the friends you love, perhaps?" Caitlin Fairchild, GEN 13 #76.

Comic Book Philosophy: Chapters 12 and 13.

2009-04-05T21:46:37Z

It's bankruptcy times two!

1) "My name is Hunter Zolomon. Despite what the public believes, I am the fastest man alive. I am Zoom. But I am not a Rogue. Far from it. I have taken the name and colors from Eobard Thawne - the time traveler know as Professor Zoom- in order to terrorize my friend. Wally West. The Flash. I suffered through tragedy. I lost my family to it. I understand the depths it will drag one down to. And only by surviving it does one become stronger. I will recreate myself to help my friend, and in turn, the world. I will do anything to make the Flash a better hero. And in the end, Wally will thank me for this. Everyone will." Zoom, FLASH 223.

2) "Free-falling from thirty stories up doesn’t leave enough time for your life to flash before your eyes. Just enough to reflect on the immediate events. In this case, I was trying to stop an assassin from killing a man named Lew Moxon, who was once a prominent mobster in Gotham. And whose daughter, Mallory, threw me for a loop by bringing back memories of the happy life I once led...before my parents died. So, then what did I do? I dived out the window at one of the finest marksmen on the planet. Brilliant." Batman, BATMAN #592.

Comic Book Philosophy 11: I'm Fresh Out of Entry Titles.

2009-04-04T22:57:16Z

"Look, Ren, sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong thing to do. Know what I mean? Gives you an edge. Makes you unpredictable. An’ I’m better at doin’ the wrong thing than almost anybody!" Hank Hall, HAWK & DOVE #5.

Comic Book Philosophy: A Decade Under the Influence.

2009-04-03T00:41:47Z

"I’m not normally a philosophical person. My study of physics has shown me the futility of trying to understand in any mortal fashion the infinite powers of the universe, for the more I learn, the more I realize that more lies outside my human ability to perceive and comprehend. But I do believe in fate, and that, from time to time, in some manner unknown to us, we manage to touch that fate, to feel it as surely and precisely as a stone in our hands. Jean had touched it. And so had Laethwen in that moment before she stole a kiss in the midst of crisis. And when you think about it...is it any wonder that such flashes of perception occur during moments of parting, when the fabric of destiny is split and insight may penetrate the mortal plane, striking like a bolt from the blue? Well -it makes sense to me..." Ray Palmer, SWORD OF THE ATOM SPECIAL #1.

Comic Book Philosophy: Nine

2009-03-31T15:23:46Z

"In my duties as ruler of Latveria, I travel the Eastern nations with some regularity. I visit America only when I must and leave as quickly as I can. I prefer civilization." Doctor Doom, FANTASTIC FOUR #496.

Comic Book Philosophy: Eight Is Enough?

2009-03-30T11:59:14Z

"Nonetheless, when isolation from the mainstream and feeling of difference define your existence...it can be novel and startling to suddenly be around those of your kind, others who share your experiences and worldview. Novel and startling...and sweet..." Caitlin Fairchild, GEN 13 #75.

Comic Book Philosophy: Seventh Heaven.

2009-03-29T14:19:00Z

From TEAM TITANS #14.

Calender Man: "Time Commander, this is your moment! Use your magic! Seize the hour, the day and all of time!"
Time Commander: "I can’t do that."
Chronos: "WHAT!?!"
Time Commander: "My friends, the hourglass is an instrument of good, not evil. It is not meant for selfish gain but to benefit all mankind. Besides, it’s broken."

Comic Book Philosophy: Deep Sixed

2009-03-28T13:58:54Z

From MARTIAN MANHUNTER #24:

Wonder Woman: "J’onn, I was a member of the Justice League back then and I don’t remember anything like that story happening!"

J’onn J’onzz: "It does not matter. It was an amusing story and it had a point to make. A good tale is its own justification -true or not."

Comic Book Philosophy 5 Alive!

2009-03-27T14:42:24Z

"It’s not that I’m conceited, but I don’t want people to think I’m a has-been!" Superman, ACTION COMICS #211.

Comic Book Philosophy IV: The Quest for Peace.

2009-03-27T01:10:21Z

From DEADSHOT #1 (The first mini, that is...)

Ariosto: "Idiot! I didn’t mean to kill him here!"
Deadshot: "Then you should have said so."

Comic Book Philosophy, Drei!

2009-03-25T15:56:36Z

"Take, say, a nice, heavy cover of nimbostratus praecipitatio raincloud. My friends, like most people, fine stratus layers like this to be grim, depressing, or even oppressive. But not me. I've always liked the feeling of a thick shroud of raincloud hanging overhead, in truth. I find its presence to be somehow comforting...like a warm, heavy blanket, laid over me by my mother perhaps..." Sarah Rainmaker, GEN-13 #70.

Comic Book Philosophy, Part Deux.

2009-03-24T15:19:14Z

From EL DIABLO #12...

El Diablo: "You’re bleeding, old-timer. You ought to get that taken care of."
Greg Saunders: "Aw, the heck with it. Does a man good to bleed sometimes. Reminds him that he’s still alive."

Comic Book Philosophy, Episode One.

2009-03-23T18:33:19Z

Kicking off a month (or sooner, if I run out) of random comic book quotes posted without context! Why? Just because I can.

"Admittedly, this is an especially obvious truism...but if you’re exposed to amazing and bizarre circumstances for lone enough, these conditions can come to seem unremarkable, even normal, to you. Conditions like being a gen-active...or even just being alive, come to think of it..." Caitlin Fairchild, GEN 13 #75.